Harsh Reality
A brief reprieve from our mundane daily existence
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
A Rock and a Hard Place...
Drinking wine...way too much wine...listening to tunes...knowing I'm about to go where I shouldn't...where I said I wouldn't...into unchartered territory that is so dangerous, yet so intoxicating and irresistable.
It's been so long...but not at all.
It's been so strange, but also comfortable.
Anxiety, curiosity, dread, hope, confidence, fear...so many things words can't describe.
Ohhhh, what to do. Caught between a rock and a hard place...
Drinking wine...way too much wine...listening to tunes...knowing I'm about to go where I shouldn't...where I said I wouldn't...into unchartered territory that is so dangerous, yet so intoxicating and irresistable.
It's been so long...but not at all.
It's been so strange, but also comfortable.
Anxiety, curiosity, dread, hope, confidence, fear...so many things words can't describe.
Ohhhh, what to do. Caught between a rock and a hard place...
Thursday, November 18, 2004
Four Years in the Making
It's almost too strange to be real.
So long and so patient...then it finally happens.
I almost don't know what to do with it...like I thought I always knew how I'd handle it, rehearsed it at various times, etc., but when the time came...it just kinda went.
And it was natural, it was comfortable, and it was good.
It's a little awkward...stepping into a void I never thought I'd enter...and it was acknowledged.
But it all disappears with the clinking of the glasses, "cheers, to four years in the making"!
It's almost too strange to be real.
So long and so patient...then it finally happens.
I almost don't know what to do with it...like I thought I always knew how I'd handle it, rehearsed it at various times, etc., but when the time came...it just kinda went.
And it was natural, it was comfortable, and it was good.
It's a little awkward...stepping into a void I never thought I'd enter...and it was acknowledged.
But it all disappears with the clinking of the glasses, "cheers, to four years in the making"!
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
A Plea for 2008...
Because it's hard to live with the present political situation, I've already begun thinking about 2008. I think that the only way the Republicans will be able to hold on to power after Dubya finishes destroying our economy and integrity in the world is to nominate....drumroll.....
McCain / Guilliani
I have very mixed feelings about this ticket. For one, it would be extremely difficult for us lefties to beat this pair unless we nominate Superman and Batman. On the other hand, if I'm forced to live in an increasingly conservative country then these two guys are about the most moderate that party has to offer. I actually think that McCain is a very fair and sincere person that could easily be mistaken for a centrist Democrat any day of the week. Plus, all of us New Yorkers know that while Guilliani can be a dictator at times, he is socially liberal and would be hemmed in as a Veep.
Now, for the Dem's. If the Democrats have any sanity left, which I question more and more each day, they will NOT nominate Hillary. Not even as a Veep. Hilary Clinton are the words for poison on the tongues of any moderate "family values" types we tend to attract. Men won't vote for her because they think she's a power-hungry bitch. Some women will vote for her because they think she exemplifies the modern, strong working mother (which she is); but at the same time, about the same number of women will NOT vote for her for the same reasons. I love ya Hilary, but the country is unfortunately not ready for you....yet!
The smart money is on this guy. He is MONEY. Evan Bayh is a "undecided voter's democrat". He's fairly moderate, almost Southern (Indiana), working class, family values-ish, not Ivy League smart...but still smart, economically proven. I mean, this guy is the real deal.
Of course though, knowing the Dem's, they're gonna nominate Lieberman...or wait, Daschle since he's out of a job now.
I hope I can keep this blog up for the next three years so I can see how this all turns out.
The harsh reality is that while every cloud has a silver lining, that doesn't mean shit if it's a mushroom cloud.
Because it's hard to live with the present political situation, I've already begun thinking about 2008. I think that the only way the Republicans will be able to hold on to power after Dubya finishes destroying our economy and integrity in the world is to nominate....drumroll.....
McCain / Guilliani
I have very mixed feelings about this ticket. For one, it would be extremely difficult for us lefties to beat this pair unless we nominate Superman and Batman. On the other hand, if I'm forced to live in an increasingly conservative country then these two guys are about the most moderate that party has to offer. I actually think that McCain is a very fair and sincere person that could easily be mistaken for a centrist Democrat any day of the week. Plus, all of us New Yorkers know that while Guilliani can be a dictator at times, he is socially liberal and would be hemmed in as a Veep.
Now, for the Dem's. If the Democrats have any sanity left, which I question more and more each day, they will NOT nominate Hillary. Not even as a Veep. Hilary Clinton are the words for poison on the tongues of any moderate "family values" types we tend to attract. Men won't vote for her because they think she's a power-hungry bitch. Some women will vote for her because they think she exemplifies the modern, strong working mother (which she is); but at the same time, about the same number of women will NOT vote for her for the same reasons. I love ya Hilary, but the country is unfortunately not ready for you....yet!
The smart money is on this guy. He is MONEY. Evan Bayh is a "undecided voter's democrat". He's fairly moderate, almost Southern (Indiana), working class, family values-ish, not Ivy League smart...but still smart, economically proven. I mean, this guy is the real deal.
Of course though, knowing the Dem's, they're gonna nominate Lieberman...or wait, Daschle since he's out of a job now.
I hope I can keep this blog up for the next three years so I can see how this all turns out.
The harsh reality is that while every cloud has a silver lining, that doesn't mean shit if it's a mushroom cloud.
Monday, November 15, 2004
Friday, November 12, 2004
Justice
I know it may seem small, but after the ridiculous results of the election, I was happy to find out that there are some sane people left in the world.
Now, I have to admit that I'm not a Rap conneisseur, but I can not agree more with the following. I can't believe Entertainment Weekly actually got it right!!! Eric B. and Rakim are truly deserving of this...even if you don't like rap, I would recommend that you give this record a listen. It's amazing!!!
FROM CNN.COM
NEW YORK (Reuters) -- Picking the greatest ever hip-hop album is a tall order, and Entertainment Weekly admits its list marking 25 years since the birth of mainstream rap is subjective, with Eric B & Rakim at No. 1.
"Eric B. & Rakim's 'Paid in Full' made hip-hop a true art form, doing for rap what Bob Dylan did for rock in the mid-'60s," the magazine said of the 1987 album, which it praised for its technical intricacy and poetic metaphors.
Some of today's big names such as Outkast and Jay-Z may be disappointed to fall short of the top 10, though the former makes it to No. 11 with "Aquemini" and Jay-Z's "The Blueprint" is listed at 15. Eminem is ranked at No. 17 for "The Marshall Mathers LP."
"It's not a record sales list," said Neil Drumming, one of the writers at Entertainment Weekly who picked the top 25.
"Most of the people you find on the list or not on the list, rappers in general, are going to reference Eric B. & Rakim as a seminal rap group," he said.
In second place the magazine picked the 1989 album "3 Feet High and Rising" by De La Soul, followed by "Ready to Die" by Notorious B.I.G. from 1994. Public Enemy and Run-D.M.C. make up the rest of the top five.
"It's an endless source of debate even after it's published," Drumming said.
The publication of the list Friday marks the 25th anniversary of hip-hop as a mainstream phenomenon, which the magazine dates from 1979 when the Sugarhill Gang's "Rapper's Delight" landed on the R&B charts, making it hip-hop's first hit single.
"A lot of people didn't believe it would last, what people are acknowledging now is that it's not a fad," Drumming said.
I know it may seem small, but after the ridiculous results of the election, I was happy to find out that there are some sane people left in the world.
Now, I have to admit that I'm not a Rap conneisseur, but I can not agree more with the following. I can't believe Entertainment Weekly actually got it right!!! Eric B. and Rakim are truly deserving of this...even if you don't like rap, I would recommend that you give this record a listen. It's amazing!!!
FROM CNN.COM
NEW YORK (Reuters) -- Picking the greatest ever hip-hop album is a tall order, and Entertainment Weekly admits its list marking 25 years since the birth of mainstream rap is subjective, with Eric B & Rakim at No. 1.
"Eric B. & Rakim's 'Paid in Full' made hip-hop a true art form, doing for rap what Bob Dylan did for rock in the mid-'60s," the magazine said of the 1987 album, which it praised for its technical intricacy and poetic metaphors.
Some of today's big names such as Outkast and Jay-Z may be disappointed to fall short of the top 10, though the former makes it to No. 11 with "Aquemini" and Jay-Z's "The Blueprint" is listed at 15. Eminem is ranked at No. 17 for "The Marshall Mathers LP."
"It's not a record sales list," said Neil Drumming, one of the writers at Entertainment Weekly who picked the top 25.
"Most of the people you find on the list or not on the list, rappers in general, are going to reference Eric B. & Rakim as a seminal rap group," he said.
In second place the magazine picked the 1989 album "3 Feet High and Rising" by De La Soul, followed by "Ready to Die" by Notorious B.I.G. from 1994. Public Enemy and Run-D.M.C. make up the rest of the top five.
"It's an endless source of debate even after it's published," Drumming said.
The publication of the list Friday marks the 25th anniversary of hip-hop as a mainstream phenomenon, which the magazine dates from 1979 when the Sugarhill Gang's "Rapper's Delight" landed on the R&B charts, making it hip-hop's first hit single.
"A lot of people didn't believe it would last, what people are acknowledging now is that it's not a fad," Drumming said.
Thursday, November 11, 2004
When you can't write your own good shit...
Steal someone elses...
I don't believe in destiny
Or the guiding hand of fate
I don't believe in forever
Or love as a mystical state
I don't believe in the stars or the planets
Or angels watching from above
But I believe there's a ghost of a chance we can find someone to love
And make it last...
-Rush
ps...I didn't write the post before this one either (if you were an angsty teen in the ninety's, then you are saying "no shit, Sherlock" right now)...I know, I suck.
Steal someone elses...
I don't believe in destiny
Or the guiding hand of fate
I don't believe in forever
Or love as a mystical state
I don't believe in the stars or the planets
Or angels watching from above
But I believe there's a ghost of a chance we can find someone to love
And make it last...
-Rush
ps...I didn't write the post before this one either (if you were an angsty teen in the ninety's, then you are saying "no shit, Sherlock" right now)...I know, I suck.
Something...
I still recall the taste of your tears
Echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears
My favorite dreams of you still wash ashore
Scraping through my head 'till I don't want to sleep anymore
You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I'm down to just one thing
And I'm starting to scare myself
You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I just want something
I just want something I can never have
You always were the one to show me how
Back then I couldn't do the things that I can do now
This thing is slowly taking me apart
Grey would be the color if I had a heart
Come on tell me
You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I'm down to just one thing
And I'm starting to scare myself
You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I just want something
I just want something I can never have
In this place it seems like such a shame
Though it all looks different now
I know it's still the same
Everywhere I look, you're all I see
Just a fading fucking reminder of who I used to be
Come on tell me
You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I'm down to just one thing
And I'm starting to scare myself
You make this all go away
You make it all go away
I just want something
I just want something I can never have
I just want something I can never have
I still recall the taste of your tears
Echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears
My favorite dreams of you still wash ashore
Scraping through my head 'till I don't want to sleep anymore
You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I'm down to just one thing
And I'm starting to scare myself
You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I just want something
I just want something I can never have
You always were the one to show me how
Back then I couldn't do the things that I can do now
This thing is slowly taking me apart
Grey would be the color if I had a heart
Come on tell me
You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I'm down to just one thing
And I'm starting to scare myself
You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I just want something
I just want something I can never have
In this place it seems like such a shame
Though it all looks different now
I know it's still the same
Everywhere I look, you're all I see
Just a fading fucking reminder of who I used to be
Come on tell me
You make this all go away
You make this all go away
I'm down to just one thing
And I'm starting to scare myself
You make this all go away
You make it all go away
I just want something
I just want something I can never have
I just want something I can never have
Monday, October 18, 2004
The Little Flyer Boy
I've spent entirely too much time today looking up airline flights for the holidays. As my brother has a family and is thus completely incapable of travelling anywhere, my parents go down to NC every year for Christmas. Last year, I was engaged and had other commitments, so I was able to opt out and just fly back to Michigan. I still got to see my folks when they came back, and I thought all was well for the future holiday traditions. They fly there for a few days, then I see them when they're back. Apperently though, that is not the case.
I've now been getting my balls busted for the past two weeks about how I'm going to arrange my schedule so I can be with them in NC this year for Christmas day. Their trickeration has gone so far as to offer to buy my plane tickets. Now, one might say that is an extremely kind gesture; and in most cases I would agree. But the only reason they're doing that is to take away one more reason for me to bug out on the plans that they've already made for me in their minds. See, in the end, that's the real rub. They just assume that whatever they plan is fine and I will/should have no problems with it. If I do have a problem, then they believe it is because: 1. I don't want to spend the holidays with them, 2. I love other people more than them, 3. I am just generally a selfish prick, or all of the above.
What they fail to understand is that I have my own life outside of them and their plans. Unlike my brother and parents, I have friends that I would like to see during the holidays, and those friends live in Michigan. I'm not saying my brother is a friendless loser, I'm just saying that he's never been one to have many friends and it doesn't bother him if he doesn't see anyone other than my parents. I, on the other hand, DO have people I would like to see in MI (I actually never get to see them all during any one trip), and I only get back there three times a year at best.
Another teensy-weensy little problem is that my father lives in Michigan. While I'm not very close to my father, I still like to see him when I get home, and especially during the holidays. My mother thinks I do this out of some sense of obligation to my father, but that is simply not true. I actually enjoy seeing him and spending some time with him. He may not "deserve" my attention or time...but that's MY choice to make, right? So, while I understand why it burns her ass that I want to see him; I simply disagree with her that it's wrong. It's my choice.
So, that leads me to my current situation. My relaxing holiday plans are thus: fly from New York to North Carolina on Christmas Eve. Then, fly from North Carolina to Detroit on Monday, the 27th. THEN, fly from Detroit back to New York on New Year's Eve (or so). I'm getting exhausted just thinking about flying that much over the holidays...jesus!
In the end, I know that my mom just wants us to spend the holidays together and I would like that too. But it kinda burns my ass that she thinks it's ok for me to have to do all this shit so I can get what "I" want outta the holidays, while ensuring that they get what "they" want out of the holidays. When posed with the problem of all my travelling, her answer is: "I'm sorry honey, that seems like an awful lot. Why don't you just go back to Michigan and see your friends and your dad another time." As you can see, I'm not going to be anywhere near a solution to this anytime soon.
The harsh reality is that mama knows best, even if it's not the best for me.
I've spent entirely too much time today looking up airline flights for the holidays. As my brother has a family and is thus completely incapable of travelling anywhere, my parents go down to NC every year for Christmas. Last year, I was engaged and had other commitments, so I was able to opt out and just fly back to Michigan. I still got to see my folks when they came back, and I thought all was well for the future holiday traditions. They fly there for a few days, then I see them when they're back. Apperently though, that is not the case.
I've now been getting my balls busted for the past two weeks about how I'm going to arrange my schedule so I can be with them in NC this year for Christmas day. Their trickeration has gone so far as to offer to buy my plane tickets. Now, one might say that is an extremely kind gesture; and in most cases I would agree. But the only reason they're doing that is to take away one more reason for me to bug out on the plans that they've already made for me in their minds. See, in the end, that's the real rub. They just assume that whatever they plan is fine and I will/should have no problems with it. If I do have a problem, then they believe it is because: 1. I don't want to spend the holidays with them, 2. I love other people more than them, 3. I am just generally a selfish prick, or all of the above.
What they fail to understand is that I have my own life outside of them and their plans. Unlike my brother and parents, I have friends that I would like to see during the holidays, and those friends live in Michigan. I'm not saying my brother is a friendless loser, I'm just saying that he's never been one to have many friends and it doesn't bother him if he doesn't see anyone other than my parents. I, on the other hand, DO have people I would like to see in MI (I actually never get to see them all during any one trip), and I only get back there three times a year at best.
Another teensy-weensy little problem is that my father lives in Michigan. While I'm not very close to my father, I still like to see him when I get home, and especially during the holidays. My mother thinks I do this out of some sense of obligation to my father, but that is simply not true. I actually enjoy seeing him and spending some time with him. He may not "deserve" my attention or time...but that's MY choice to make, right? So, while I understand why it burns her ass that I want to see him; I simply disagree with her that it's wrong. It's my choice.
So, that leads me to my current situation. My relaxing holiday plans are thus: fly from New York to North Carolina on Christmas Eve. Then, fly from North Carolina to Detroit on Monday, the 27th. THEN, fly from Detroit back to New York on New Year's Eve (or so). I'm getting exhausted just thinking about flying that much over the holidays...jesus!
In the end, I know that my mom just wants us to spend the holidays together and I would like that too. But it kinda burns my ass that she thinks it's ok for me to have to do all this shit so I can get what "I" want outta the holidays, while ensuring that they get what "they" want out of the holidays. When posed with the problem of all my travelling, her answer is: "I'm sorry honey, that seems like an awful lot. Why don't you just go back to Michigan and see your friends and your dad another time." As you can see, I'm not going to be anywhere near a solution to this anytime soon.
The harsh reality is that mama knows best, even if it's not the best for me.
